#WooWoo Wednesdays: One Tiny Beautiful Thing

I woke up on Monday morning in a panic. My mind raced. My heart pounded. I felt as if the weight of the world had descended on my shoulders.

Photo by Isabelle Taylor from Pexels

See, for the past four years, I’ve tried to minimize my exposure to the news to keep myself sane and my depression in check. What is happening politically in our country is distressing, and what is happening globally to our climate is devastating. Sometimes, it’s too much for my heart to hold.

But over the weekend, I broke this minimal-news pact. Knowing I needed to cast my ballot in my state’s presidential primary, I read one distressing political story after another distressing political story.

One of my coping techniques when I’m faced with overwhelm, as I was over the weekend, is mindfulness and meditation. But Monday morning, my mind was having none of it. Instead of sitting quietly and mindfully breathing in and out, panic over casting my ballot coursed through my body.

While delusion and not true, I felt the fate of the world rested on my vote.

To distract myself, I turned to Facebook. Yes, I know it’s a very poor coping mechanism, and often, it only leads to more despair. But on Monday morning, I found some very unexpected guidance. One of my friends shared a link to this thoughtful article by Margaret Renkl in The New York Times: One Tiny Beautiful Thing: When the big picture keeps getting darker, it helps to zoom in.

In the way of The Woo, Renkl’s description of the despair she was feeling read as if she was reading my mind:

Paying attention to what is happening in Washington is a form of self-torment so reality altering that it should be regulated as a Schedule IV drug. I pay attention because that’s what responsible people do, but I sometimes wonder how much longer I can continue to follow the national news and not descend into a kind of despair that might as well be called madness. Already there are days when I’m one click away from becoming Lear on the heath, raging into the storm. There are days when it feels like the apocalypse is already here.

“Yes,” I wanted to shout as I read this passage, “So much yes to all of this!”

But Renkl didn’t wallow in despair. She offered the advice that my racing mind and jittery heart needed to hear:

Instead of giving up something for Lent, I’m planning to make a heartfelt offering. In times like these, it makes more sense to seek out daily causes for praise than daily reminders of lack. So here is my resolution: to find as many ordinary miracles as a waterlogged winter can put forth, as many resurrections as an eerily early springtime will allow. Tiny beautiful things are bursting forth in the darkest places, in the smallest nooks and deepest cracks of the hidden world, and I am going to keep looking every single day until I find one.

As I finished her article, I noticed my heart rate slowing, my panic subsiding. Instead of feeling frozen by overwhelm, I now have an action item that fits perfectly in The Land of Woo. I am dedicating myself to finding and acknowledging the ordinary miracles I experience every day — like the miracle of Renkl’s article landing in my Facebook feed at the exact moment I needed it.

Whole Health Challenge Accepted! Again!

I’m supposed to be 14 days into Lissa Rankin’s 40 Day Whole Health Challenge. But I had a revelation this week. Why does this have to be a 40 Day challenge?

Picture of a light bulb on a white desk and a blank notebook.
Photo by Burak K from Pexels

The entire challenge is digital and pre-recorded. While Lissa will only send daily emails for 40 days, I’ll have access to the content well beyond that. So, I asked myself, why don’t I just do this challenge at my own pace? For some, this revelation might seem super obvious. But for me, it wasn’t. I’m so used to be a Rule Follower that I never feel comfortable bending the rules.

But to take this challenge seriously and spend adequate time with the content, I need more than 40 days. We’re covering a lot of content that I find really compelling, and I want to give it the time and attention it deserves.

My 40 Day Challenge will probably be more like an 80 Day Challenge, and I’m ok with that. This week, instead of moving to Step 2, I am re-dedicating myself to Step 1: Believing that healing is possible. Part of my homework is to come up with a mantra that reaffirms this belief. Lisa gave us this mantra as an example: “I am whole, healthy, and free of symptoms.”

And, as she told us, saying it once a day isn’t going to do it.

So I’m going to spend some time meditating on my mantra, hopefully landing on one that is uplifting, inspirational, and a joy to repeat many, many, many times a day.

#WooWoo Wednesdays: The Wisdom of Kegels

This week’s #WooWooWednesdays is brought to you by Kegels. Yes! Kegels!

Photo by icon0.com from Pexels

I started to develop lower back pain in December — specifically on December 21 when my husband and I were trying to fly back East for Christmas. Instead of a smooth ride and one easy connection, we were hit with 10 hours of disastrous flight delays.

At some point during the day, as we were standing at yet another customer service desk, my lower back spasmed. It had never done that before, but I was suddenly super uncomfortable and had to bend over to get it to stop. The tightness of that spasm feels like it has never fully disappeared. For the past two months, I’ve had on-and-off lower back pain that seems to be triggered by sitting, standing, driving, and exercising. Pretty much, any type of movement can trigger it 🙂

Yesterday, I was scrolling through Elephant Journal and saw this article: Why we should all do Kegels, according to Science. I’m not sure why I clicked on it. I know what Kegels are. I do them on very rare occasions. But once I started reading the post Dr. John Douillard, the blog author, made me see Kegels in an entirely new light.

To begin with, he explains that historically, humans ran long distances and carried heavy objects on their heads or backs. The only way this was sustainable was if humans had strong pelvic floor stability.

He goes on to explain:

While sitting at work, driving, watching TV, or eating at the kitchen table, pelvic muscles are required to do absolutely nothing. Over time, without use, they atrophy, resulting in pelvic and low back instability.

Pelvic floor strength is the foundation for the spine. If the foundation is weak, the spine above will not be stable and low back, mid-back, or neck pain may result. … Unless you regularly perform pelvic floor exercises or Kegels, you most likely have a weak and possibly unstable pelvic floor.

(bold emphasis is my own)

Basically, he’s saying my pelvic muscles have atrophied and could be a cause of my lower back pain.

But what I love about this article (beyond a potential solution for my back pain) is the connection he makes between Kegels and Ayurvedic pelvic floor exercises. He writes:

For both men and women, not only is the science behind pelvic floor exercises amazing, but Ayurveda actually described these techniques thousands of years ago. Two ancient techniques restore strength, health, and integrity to the pelvic floor: ashwini mudra and mula bandha.

(Bold emphasis is my own)

This is the description of ashwini mudra: rhythmic contraction of the anus in an effort to direct prana and kundalini energy up the spine into subtle energy channels called nadis. And this is the description of mula bandha: The practice is performed seated. After a full nasal inhalation, the breath is held while the anus is contracted for 1-2 seconds, performing 4-5 contractions before exhaling to complete one round.

This reminds me of a very intense breathing meditation I did, led by Dr. Joe Dispenza, that is designed to pull the mind out of the body and elicit brain strong positive emotions. During the meditation, Dr. Joe plays energetic music and instructs you to:

Contract your intrinsic muscles, your perineum, your lower abdomen, your upper abdomen, and as you contract those intrinsic muscles, I want you to inhale through your nose in one, slow, steady breath and pull your energy your perineum, your lower abdomen, your upper abdomen, through your chest, through your throat, through your head, all the way to the top and hold it at the top and let your energy move to your awareness and hold it there for a second. Hold it … and as you exhale now, relax.

And this is what I love about The Woo.

The deeper I go into The Woo, the more I find that it’s all connected. Different teachers use different words, but so many of these ideas are linked and interconnected. Today, we are using alternative methods that are thousands of years old to heal ourselves mentally and physically. Yes, modern medicine is amazing, but so is The Woo.

#TheTeaTalks

Sometimes, the tea just nails it, and today was one of those days.

Tea label that reads: Without realizing who you are, happiness cannot come to you.

I’ve been drinking a lot of tea this winter, and this was the message on my fourth tea bag of the day: Without realizing who you are, happiness cannot come to you.

This truism hits so close to home. I’m in a year a reinvention and re-imagination. Who am I really? What do I want really? What makes me happy really?

To answer those questions, I am trying to remove the “shoulds” from my life — I should have accomplished this, and I should look like that — and replace them with “I am.” Phrases such as “I am carving a new path, and that’s ok.” Or “I am on a far different journey than I ever would have imagined, and I’m happy with that.”

Or even, possibly one day, “I am whole and complete, and I am in love with that.”

Today, the tea was there to keep me honest and guide me on my path.

A Perfect Day to Practice Non-Striving

I’m a striver. Always have been. But I hope the words that follow that phrase aren’t … and I always will be. That is why today I needed to prove to my striving mind that non-striving is ok, and sometimes even better than striving.

Yountville, Ca. Photo Credit: Me!

When I woke up, my to-do list for today looked something like this:

  • Change the HVAC filters
  • Catch up on work expenses
  • Unpack from a recent trip
  • Work on Dr. Lissa Rankin’s 40 Day Whole Health Challenge
  • Grocery shop
  • Meditate
  • Exercise
  • Call my parents
  • Fold laundry
  • Do more laundry

The kicker? It’s President’s Day! The real kicker? It’s 75 and sunny in Napa Valley, it’s February, and my husband and I both have the day off! So why am I wedded to my to-do list? What would really happen if I ignored it and only did what I wanted, allowing my non-striving mind to take charge? Well, I did just that. I put my non-striving mind in charge.

Here is what my non-striving day looked like:

  • Meditated for 45 minutes
  • Day dreamed for 10 minutes
  • Got in the car with the husband
  • Drove to our favorite little Napa Valley town
  • Had a leisurely lunch of Spanish tapas and paella
  • Went for a walk along our favorite streets
  • Stopped to take pictures
  • Said “I am lucky” so many times
  • Held my husband’s hand and laughed with him

The thing is, by the time we got back from eating and strolling around and taking in the sun, the day was barely over. I hadn’t wasted the day. Instead, I felt amazing. I felt serene and relaxed and so blessed to have enjoyed a spring day in the midst of winter. My husband and I were still able to do our grocery shopping. I still called my parents. And now I’m off to exercise.

The bottom line: My non-striving mind was far more productive than my striving mind, and it took better care of me. I had time for all the really important things — meditating, spending time with my husband, calling my parents, and enjoying the sunshine. Everything else on the to-do list? Maybe I’ll finish it all tomorrow. Either way, my striving self is just going to have to learn how to be ok with that.

Challenge Accepted: Lissa Rankin’s 40 Day Health Challenge

2020 is my year of non-striving: doing less, being more. But I am still very easily pulled into my default striving mode, especially when I get excited about a topic, I read about some successful woman and feel like that’s who I “should” be … or it’s really late at night, and I somehow find myself on the 40daywholehealthchallenge.com webpage and then bam! I’ve suddenly signed myself up for Lissa Rankin’s 40 Day Whole Health Challenge.

Oh, and, by the way, the challenge starts the next day cause it’s an online class, and I didn’t read all the details before I jumped right in. I guess there’s no time like the present! So, here I am! I am six days into the 40 Day Whole Health Challenge!

But signing up for this class didn’t come entirely out of nowhere.

Last year, I read Lissa Rankin’s book, Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself. Having already read Dr. Joe Dispenza’s books, You Are the Placebo and Becoming Supernatural, a lot of the ideas that Lissa presents in her book were familiar to me. Both Dr. Joe and Lissa talk about the idea that the body can often heal itself and how we can use the power of our minds to heal ourselves. 

I’m excited, nervous, and curious for this class. I am super happy to be exploring The Woo in a structured environment.

  • I like having teachers, and steps to follow, and a path laid clear for me – helping me understand how I’ll get from point A to point B.
  • I like that during the class, Lissa will walk us through her 6 steps of healing.
  • And since I paid for the course, I know I’ll take it seriously and dedicate time to understanding and exploring the content.

The thing is that, as I explore The Woo, I oscillate between believing 100% that I can cure myself … to believing this is all crazy and I’m being taken for a ride. Is my mind really that powerful? Can I really believe my way to better health? Can my mind heal what western medicine cannot?

I honestly don’t know. But what I like about Dr. Joe and Lissa Rankin is that they come at these questions from a scientific research and medical background. They are using that knowledge to explore how the mind can make the body sick — and how the mind can make the body well.  

I have no idea what I’ll get out of this 40-day challenge. Right now, the biggest goal I have is pursuing Step 1 of this 6 step journey: Believing that healing is possible.

#WooWoo Wednesdays: It’s Not All Fireworks and Lightening Bolts

Photo by Matt Hardy from Pexels

I knew when I started #WooWooWednesdays that I was committing myself to writing once a week about how The Woo is showing up in my life. I expected these events to be HUGE and AMAZING and LIFE CHANGING. After all, this is The Woo we’re talking about.

What I’ve realized is that the way The Woo shows up in my life isn’t always going to be huge, incredible, and life changing. It can’t be. That would be insane.

Rather, The Woo is also going to make its presence known in subtle ways throughout the day. This week, The Woo showed up:

  • In my decision to walk back into my bedroom before heading out the door — and seeing the headset that I needed lying on my nightstand, just waiting to be thrown into my work bag.
  • In my spur-of-the-moment decision to walk into a store and then immediately seeing a dress that I loved. The dress was my size, in my price range, fit perfectly and was exactly what I’d been looking for to wear to an upcoming event.
  • During a long drive home. I was expecting rain and windshield wipers, but instead, I was greeted by blue skies peaking out from behind the clouds. I got on the road just as the rain showers ended.

And The Woo showed up today, in a post by a friend on Instagram who shared a quote she heard on a podcast. She’s not sure if this is a quote by Ross Gay or he was quoting someone else, but either way, she said the words stopped her in her tracks.

“It is negligence not to acknowledge the things that delight you.”

And with that, I am acknowledging The Woo — in its big and small ways — because it continues to delight me.

Feminism, The Woo and The Derision of Goop Lab

Have you ever read something that makes you see a subject in an entirely new light — and that new light makes total sense?

A rock, a purple flower, an open medicine bottle, small round pills all placed on a mirrored surface.

That’s what happened to me after I read The New York Times article, “Who’s Afraid of Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop?” by Elisa Albert and Jennifer Block. The article’s subhead is, The long history of hating on “woo.”

If you’re interested at all in the #Woo, I’m sure you’ve heard a looooot about The GOOP Lab. While I’m watching it and have many, many thoughts on it (Hello, vagina episode), right now, I’m more interested in what this NYT article has to say about the #Woo. 

Here’s a passage from the article (bold emphasis is my own):

Throughout history, women in particular have been mocked, reviled, and murdered for maintaining knowledge and practices that frightened, confused and confounded “the authorities.” (Namely the church, and later, medicine.) Criticism of Goop is founded, at least in part, upon deeply ingrained reserves of fear, loathing, and ignorance about things we cannot see, touch, authenticate, prove, own or quantify. It is emblematic of a cultural insistence that we quash intuitive measures and “other” ways of knowing — the sort handed down via oral tradition, which, for most women throughout history, was the only way of knowing. In other words, it’s classic patriarchal devaluation.

When 19th-century medicine men were organizing and legitimizing their brand-new profession, they claimed the mantle of “science” even though there was no such thing as evidence-based medicine at the time. In order to dominate the market, they slandered all other modalities as “quackery,” including midwifery, which we know achieved safer birth outcomes back then, as it still does todayPejoratives like “woo” or “pseudoscience” are still often applied to anything that falls outside of the mainstream medical establishment. (Think about this the next time you hear something harmless or odd or common-sensical dismissed as an “old wives’ tale.”)

A lightbulb went off in my head after reading this. Oh, I thought, so this is where disdain of the Woo began. This is why I’ve been so embarrassed/ashamed/closeted about my exploration of The Woo. This is why I’ve barely told anyone about this blog. And this is why society, at large, ridicules The Woo.

The day after reading this NYT piece, I came across this article in the Washington Post: “Why Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Goop Lab’ is horrible. The medical industry is partly to blame.” It’s written by Nikki Stamp, a heart and lung surgeon in Perth, Australia. Here is what she says of the growing popularity of the “wellness” industry.

The growth of Goop and, more broadly, of the multitrillion-dollar wellness industry is cause for concern. On the surface, it looks full of promise and hope. Dig just a little deeper, beyond the claims of all-natural miracles — the energy healing, the cold therapy, the anti-aging treatments — and what we find is at best, a waste of money and at worst, harmful methods that actually compromise your health.

But then, in an interesting twist, Stamp goes on to explain the significant role the medical establishment has played in fueling the rise of wellness.

For virtually the whole of its existence, medicine has disenfranchised women and, to varying degrees, continues to do so. Even as medicine has modernized with an emphasis on autonomy and resolving bias, it remains, at times, paternalistic and patriarchal.

… Medical care has not accounted for what women need and want. Women are more often dissatisfied with medical care, feeling that it has failed to recognize their autonomy and unique biological and social needs. Women are more likely to have chronic illness and autoimmune diseases, both of which can be challenging to treat from a doctor’s point of view but even more challenging to live with.

I say YES to this. As someone with a chronic condition, I know how challenging my condition is for my doctor to treat and how super challenging it is to live with.

I finally turned to The Woo because, after years of seeing doctors, I didn’t know where else to turn. And If I didn’t find solutions in The Woo — meditation, mindfulness, the law of attraction, visualization, hypnotherapy — I’d be much, much worse off.

That is why I love this paragraph from the NYT article:

It’s condescending to suggest that if we are interested in having agency over our bodies, if we are open to experiencing heightened states of awareness and emotion, if we are amazed by and eager to learn more about the possibilities of touch and intention and energy, and if we’d like to do everything within our power to stay out of doctors’ offices, we are somehow privileged morons who deserve an intellectual (read: patriarchal) beat-down. Openness to intuitive measures that might help us avoid or ameliorate chronic despair and disease does not make us flat-earthers.

YES! So much YES to this! I believe in science. I believe in Western medicine. I still see all my doctors, go to a therapist, take prescription drugs, get yearly physicals, and I intend to continue to do all of those things if I need to.

But exploring ways I can aid in my own healing, improve my mental health, and vastly improve my quality of life doesn’t mean I’m consumed by “magical thinking.” It means that I know science has its limits, and I have the right to search beyond those limits if I’ve hit a brick wall in my healing process.

#WooWoo Wednesdays: Basking in the Law of Attraction

Photo Credit: Me

This weekend I did something very Woo-y. I went to an Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction workshop! For some, Abraham-Hicks and their teachings can seem really out there. For others, Abraham-Hicks seems totally normal.

It all depends on your view of the Woo.

In short, Esther Hicks channels a collective consciousness known as Abraham, and the teachings of Abraham help us to understand how to use the Law of Attraction to manifest our desires. During workshops, Abraham invites audience members who raise their hands to come to the stage, sit in the “hot seat,” and ask Abraham questions, like — how do I deal with an overprotective Mom? How do I manifest lots of money? How do I heal myself?

While seeing Abraham in person can be very Woo-y, the entire experience surrounding this workshop was Woo-y for me.

To begin with, going to this workshop happened on a whim. At the end of January, I wondered if there would be any Abraham workshops in SF in 2020. So I logged onto the Abraham Hicks website and BOOM! There was going to be a workshop in San Francisco! In eight days! On a Saturday morning when I had NO PLANS!

Even better — tickets were still available.

Even better — rooms were available at the hotel where the workshop was taking place for LESS than the rate Abraham-Hicks had negotiated.

The weekend kept unfolding like that — easily, pleasantly, full of good surprises. The hotel turned out to be really nice, with waterfront access where you could sit peacefully, watching the ducks swim in the calm San Francisco bay while planes took off in the distance from SFO. (I captured this view in the photo above).

On the morning of the conference, I sat there for 15 minutes, taking in this view and centering myself. When I headed inside to drop by the hotel Starbucks, there was NO LINE. It only took 1 minute for my chai latte to come out, complete with my name printed correctly in big, bold, capital letters on the cup!

Then, I had no problem getting a seat with a decent view, and I sat between two very nice women. One was celebrating her birthday and gave herself a ticket to the workshop as a gift. Another had just moved to SF. When she found out there was an Abraham-Hicks workshop close by, she knew she had to attend.

When the workshop got underway, most of the audience’s questions were intriguing and mirrored many of my own.

And then, when it was all over, and all of us streamed outside, it only took 5 minutes for the valet to bring my car around, and I zoomed on home to Napa with no traffic.

It was a weekend of seeing the Woo in action, and I chose to end it by floating for an hour in a sensory deprivation pod to meditate and relax.

I think I fulfilled my Woo for the weekend (and perhaps the rest of the week).

#TheTeaTalks

A tea tag label that says Live with reverence for yourself and others.
Photo Credit: Me!

The theme of “other” seems to be popping up in my life a lot right now.

I’m listening to Michelle Obama’s audio book, Becoming (yes, the one that won her a Grammy). In it, she talks about how politicians used and twisted language and facts to scare voters when Barack Obama ran for president. The efforts were meant to insight fear among voters, so they’d see Barack as “other,” and someone unfit to be President of the United States.

And January 27 marked the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz — the ultimate example of the horrors and atrocities that can happen when one group of people marks another group as “other.”

So it was reassuring when I stepped into my meditation class this week, and my teacher’s first question was to ask us what keeps us from showing compassion to others. Our answers ranged from fear to discomfort to busyness to distrust — and media and technology.

In a true sign of the Woo, my meditation teacher had chosen this passage to read to us:

The television set and the computer are the most popular temples these days: when your mind is inside them, it’s confusing — but nothing is
asked of you, and you carry no responsibility. Your attention is
suspended from your own concerns — which feels like a relief —
but the mind is in a passive position that doesn’t call up anything
from its depths. Attention is in a trance

Pārami, Ways to Cross Life’s Floods, by Ajahn Sucitto

When we are in the trance of technology, we are absorbing language and images and storylines that can easily paint our neighbors and strangers as “others.” After all, as the Ajahn Sucitto quote says, when zoned out, “nothing is asked of you, and you carry no responsibility.” But IRL, we do carry responsibility, and it’s helpful to listen to the tea, which reminds us to hold each other and ourselves in reverence.