My Dad is an ally. He always has been. Being an ally comes naturally to him. He interacts with Black and Brown people with ease. When I was very young, he worked as a teacher at a public elementary school in Washington, DC. He was the only White teacher. Every so often, he would bring my older sister and me to visit his classroom. We’d be the only White kids in a sea of Black faces, and we loved it. We were always excited to meet his students, who would dote on us. Although my Dad left that job in the 1980s, he remains close friends with his former colleagues. Over the years, he has attended their retirement parties, and, sadly, some of their funerals.
My Dad is not without conservative views. When my then-boyfriend (now husband) and I would travel from New York to visit my parents in Maryland, my boyfriend always had to sleep in the basement. I slept upstairs, two floors away, in my childhood bedroom. While he was strict, my Dad never cared about the ethnicity of our friends or the men my sisters and I dated. My Dad wanted us, too, to be allies.
This past week — marked by the daylight murder of George Floyd, the eruptions of protests across the country, and law enforcement agents firing rubber bullets and tear gas at peaceful protestors — has forced me to ask myself tough questions questions.
- How strong of an ally am I?
- How much do I rely on or hide behind my white privilege?
- How can the #Woo help me process all of this?
To answer these questions, I took #BlackOutTuesday to heart. I blacked out my social media, took the day off from work, and spent hours reading, thinking, and meditating.
This is what I do know.
- Being mindful and practicing meditation or Buddhism does not teach us to be self-absorbed or disengaged from reality. Rather, these practices teach us how to sit with our uncomfortable feelings instead of pretending they do not exist. Once we learn how to sit with — rather than judge — our most complicated feelings, we can recognize them, accept them, and learn how to move past them. Sitting also helps teach us compassion — for ourselves and others — and how to practice loving-kindness toward all beings. These practices can help us to overcome the ingrained belief that we are all different from one another, allowing us to recognize the humanity in others.
- Practicing the #Woo is in no way an excuse to remain passive. Instead, we can be mindful allies. For instance, in early May, more than 100 Buddhist teachers and leaders penned an open letter encouraging us all to vote.
This is a truly critical time in American society. We are in the midst of a global pandemic, financial collapse, climate change emergency, and approaching a November election that threatens to exclude many eligible voters. As Buddhist teachers and leaders, we recognize that every vote and voice needs to be heard to help guide the next years of our society wisely.
Open Letter from 100+ Buddhist Teachers
Today’s climate is marked by divisiveness and a lack of compassionate leadership, the letter says, and the need has never been stronger to ensure everyone’s voices are heard to elect thoughtful leaders. Getting out the vote can help us move closer to a mutually caring community.
3. Being a mindful ally does not come naturally to me, and I need to be far more aware of my white privilege. To better understand this, I pored over op/eds, news articles, and blog posts to gather actionable steps I could follow to become a better advocate. I then created a reading list and called my local independent bookstore to order new books.
“Do you have How to be an AntiRacist by Ibram X. Kendi?” I asked when the clerk answered the phone.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “We’ve sold out of that.”
“How about Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad?”I asked.
“I’m sorry. I just sold my last copy,” he said.
“What about Biased by Jennifer L. Eberhardt?”
“We also just sold out of that book, but we should have new ones in stock on Monday,” he said.
“Perfect! I’ll pre-order that,” I said.
“These books are flying off the shelves,” the clerk told me. “We just received 30 copies of How to be an AntiRacist, and we’ve sold all of them. This is so inspiring. We can’t keep these books stocked.”
I agreed with him because this is what should be happening. Yes, we are posting quotes, memes, and videos on social media. But we are also taking action, protesting, making donations, and initiating conversations. It made my heart happy to hear that my neighbors are eagerly trying to be part of the solution.
There are no quick fixes or easy answers to solve the heartbreak we are experiencing. But there are two questions I can ask myself as I try to move forward as a mindful ally: Will my actions lead to greater wellbeing? Or will they lead to greater suffering?
As a student of the #Woo, I am focused on using my actions to lessen the suffering and create greater wellbeing.
